The Third Season
RICKY'S "LIFE" STORY
Episode #65, Aired October 5, 1953
When Ricky is featured in "Life" magazine, the only part of Lucy in the photos is her arm. She blames him for not having a career because of "publicity like THIS!". She mourns that they didn't print her picture because she's not famous, but she could be if he had given her an opportunity to display her talents. She wants a career, but he won't help her get her break in show business. Fred suggests to Ricky that he finally let Lucy be in a show, and let her see how much hard work there is. Ricky creates a 'challenge routine' dance that makes Lucy almost continually do dance steps, while Ricky practically only stands there. Finally, she falls in exhaustion to the floor, but when she hears there is a Spanish scene that only needs a girl who just sits there with a rose in her teeth, Lucy wants, and gets, that part. Upon her return home, she finds out from Fred that Ricky pretended to star her in a big dance number hoping to rehearse her so hard she'd get tired and quit. She now plans to get even with Ricky. She does the show, being the girl who sits there, but also upstages Ricky by doing magic tricks and 'flying' in the air, behind Ricky's back as he sings.
Songs: "Lady of Spain", "Loveliest Night of the Year", "Babalu"
Cast: Joseph (and Michael) Mayer as Little Ricky, Louis Nicoletti as dance teacher
THE GIRLS GO INTO BUSINESS
Episode #68, Aired October 12, 1953
When Ricky is looking for security in a career, like owning a little business, Lucy suggests buying Hansen's Dress Shop and offers that she and Ethel will run the store. Ethel encourages this idea by saying that women have good business sense since they had saved money on the dresses they just bought. When Lucy has to return her dress, because Ricky won't let her keep it, she can't understand how the husbands can't see the opportunity they're missing in buying the shop. Ethel says men have no business sense and Lucy decides the girls should buy it to prove their husbands don't know what they're talking about. They can't resist how cheap the shop is at $3,000, so Lucy gives Mrs. Hansen a check for $300, that's post-dated a couple of days, as down payment. As owners, the girls get into arguments on naming the shop, with ideas such as "Ethel-Lu's", "Lucy-Eths", "Lucy and Ethel's Dress Shop" and "Ethel and Lucy's Dress Shop". After two days, the girls still haven't seen a customer. When a man, Ralph S. Boyer, buys the shop from them for $3,500, they find out from their husbands that Mr. Boyer sold the shop to a construction company for $50,000.00. This causes the girls' pride in themselves for having good business sense, by gaining $500, go right down the drain.
Cast: Mabel Paige as Mrs. Hansen, Barbara Pepper as Grace, Kay Wiley as woman shopper, Emory Parnell as policeman
LUCY AND ETHEL BUY THE SAME DRESS
Episode #69, Aired October 19, 1953
Lucy chairs a Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League meeting and announces that their yearly show will be next week. Caroline's wonderful news is that her husband Charley, the manager of a TV station, has gotten them a whole half hour on TV - at midnight. Lucy talks her way into being Chairman of the show because she'll guarantee to get Ricky as Master of Ceremonies. Later, Ethel reminds Lucy that Ricky stated he would not appear in another women's club production, but Lucy has a plan that will make Ricky ask to be in the show by considering everyone but Ricky to be the M.C. This works in her favor, and Ricky decides to do the show because Lucy didn't bother him about it. Ethel and Lucy rehearse their song and then find out they've each bought the same formal gown for the performance. They resolve to both return their dresses, but each later decides that, since the other one is returning her dress, why should 'she' return hers. While the girls sing 'Friendship' in the show, slowly getting more upset with each other for keeping their dresses, some pieces of their outfits get 'lost' along the way!
Songs: "When the Red, Red Robin Comes Bob, Bob, Bobbin' Along", "Friendship", "Vaya Con Dios"
Cast: Doris Singleton as Caroline Appleby; Shirley Mitchell as Marion Strong; Hazel Pierce and Ruth Perrott as clubwomen.
Episode #70, Aired October 26, 1953
After Lucy interrupts Ricky's story-telling, and decides all by herself where the Ricardos and Mertzes will eat, Ricky puts his foot down and declares that their house will be run like they do in Cuba where the man is the master and the woman does what she's told. It takes Lucy a moment; finally, it sinks in: they are in the United States and she has her rights. She and Ethel demand that they be treated exactly as if they were men. Ricky and Fred go along with it, right down to separate checks at the restaurant. Since the women don't have money, they have to wash the dishes. While washing, Lucy gets an idea that they call their husbands and make noises like struggling in the background, as if being held up by bandits. The men rush to the restaurant and peek in on the girls but don't see any intruders. They can't let this chance go by to get even, so they pretend to be robbers and break through the kitchen door. Soon revealing to their wives who they are, Lucy and Ethel show the guys what they think of them. Just then, the police Ricky had phoned arrive, and believe that Fred and Ricky are the bandits they phoned about. While their husbands are in jail, Lucy and Ethel look them over, then have them released, while they all laugh over equal rights.
Cast: Lawrence Dobkin as Maitre'D; Fred Aldrich, Louis Nicoletti and Dick Reeves as policemen
Episode #71, Aired November 2, 1953
Lucy is ecstatic over their new pictures of Little Ricky and Ricky can't wait to show them to Charlie and Caroline Appleby, considering theirs are better than any the Applebys took of their baby. Ricky had invited them over for the evening, since Charlie wants him on a TV show. Lucy reminded Ricky of the vow they made to never bore people with baby pictures. That evening, Lucy catches Ricky showing the Mertzes the photos, but they don't mind; they insist that the Ricardos show the Applebys the photos of Little Ricky to take them down a peg or two since all they talk about is their Little Stevie. During the Appleby's visit, they manage to pull out pictures of Stevie. Lucy's boredom changes when Caroline asks if Little Ricky outgrew being pinched and funny looking, and she and Ricky rush to show the Applebys what a cute baby, like Little Ricky, looks like. Because Caroline made her so mad, Lucy makes a surprise visit to Caroline the next day, taking along Little Ricky, to show her what a cute baby looks like. Lucy suggests that Stevie might be all dirty and asks when he'll reach normal size. Caroline implies that Little Ricky is a little fatty and should go on a diet or he'll "grow up to look like your mommy". Caroline brags that Stevie put two words together and Lucy suggests that Little Ricky speaks Spanish. She insults Lucy by implying she always wears the same suit and they accuse each other's child of teaching their own child some bad habits. Lucy storms out. When Charlie calls and tells Ricky he doesn't have the TV job since Lucy upset Caroline, he tells her she better get him back on the program. After singing on the TV show, Ricky announces his wife had found the most beautiful baby in the whole world and he presents Lucy holding Little Stevie Appleby.
Songs: "In Acapulco"
Cast: Doris Singleton as Caroline Appleby; Hy Averback as Charlie Appleby, Michael and Joseph Mayer as Little Ricky
LUCY TELLS THE TRUTH
Episode #72, Aired November 9, 1953
When Lucy lies about being in show business in her past, before meeting Ricky, particularly about being "in Oklahoma", Ricky and the Mertzes bet her $100 that she can't tell the absolute truth for 24 hours. At the bridge game the next day, she tells Caroline, Ethel and Marion exactly what she thinks of them. At home, she even tells Ricky that she thinks he's a coward because he is afraid if she had a chance at a career, she'd be the star of the family. Ricky decides to invite her to an audition because he knows if she lies about her experience, he and the Mertzes will win the bet. At auditions she can't come up with stage experience and therefore, doesn't get the job until Professor Falconi needs an assistant who can speak Italian. She volunteers, and when she realizes she's taking part in knife throwing, she breaks down and tells Ricky she'll pay the bet. He comforts her and shows her how the knives work and says he'll pay the bet.
Cast: Doris Singleton as Caroline Appleby; Shirley Mitchell as Marion Strong; Charles Lane as casting director; Mario Siletti as Professor Falconi; Dorothy Lloyd as chicken singer; Michael and Joseph Mayer as Little Ricky
THE FRENCH REVUE
Episode #73, Aired November 16, 1953
With their inability to read the menus in a French restaurant, the Ricardos and Mertzes order four orders of 'Closed on Sundays'. Lucy is so embarrassed that she wants to take French lessons (as long as it doesn't cost Ricky any money, he says). She later calls Robert DuBois, the French waiter and he says he'll give free French lessons. In the middle of lessons, he tells Lucy and Ethel that he is an entertainer and was giving free lessons so he could meet Ricky and be in one of his shows. Lucy informs Ricky of this, but he feels it wouldn't be fair because he wouldn't even be able to use a French singer. Lucy suggests he do a French revue because they're all the rage so he agrees to give him the audition. Since Lucy insists that she be in the show, he says no and gives orders at the Club to not allow Lucy in. She tries to get in anyway, by hiding her face inside a lampshade, next carrying a painting while wearing a wig that covers her whole head, next hiding inside a large cello. She is caught and sent out of the building but during the show she enters as a club patron, dressed like a big woman, slips under a table, and joins the chorus in full costume!
Songs: "Louise", "Valentine", "Apache"
Cast: Alberto Morin as Robert DuBois; Joseph and Michael Mayer as Little Ricky; Richard Reeves and Fred Aldrich as men at Club; Louis Nicoletti as Maitre D'
REDECORATING THE MERTZ'S APARTMENT
Episode #74, Aired November 23, 1953
Lucy is excited because Ricky has told her he'll be giving her a mink stole. Ethel phones and asks if the club meeting can be held at Lucy's even though it's Ethel's turn. Lucy hesitates because she can't make an entrance in her own apartment in a new stole but decides she'll host the meeting because she's sure Ethel is ashamed of her own apartment. Ricky disagrees to having the meeting at their place again because of the fuss it is for Lucy to get ready for it; he suggests it'd be simpler to paint the Mertz's apartment. At the Mertz's, Lucy suggests their painting party idea but when Fred won't let Ethel have new furniture to go with the new paint, Ethel rejects the offer, departing the room, crying and Fred leaves their apartment in a huff. And they're both mad at Lucy. The Ricardos decide to pay to paint and upholster the furniture for the Mertzes but Ricky warns Lucy this will cut her mink stole in half. A mess occurs when Lucy is ripping the feathers out of Fred's chair and he plugs in the fan to get the paint smell out of the room. The whole apartment is ruined and the Mertzes want Lucy to do something about it. They acquire the Ricardo's living room furniture and Lucy gets new furniture in place of the expected, beloved new mink she was supposed to be given.
Songs: "I Am Lily of the Valley"
TOO MANY CROOKS
Episode #75, Aired November 30, 1953
Lucy's neighbors see a robber go into the Mertz building and the police suspect it's a woman they call Madame X. When Fred says he can't afford new locks for the apartments, Ethel warns him she'll use his birthday present money to buy them. Lucy is surprised and asks him when his birthday is and he says it's a week from Thursday. For Fred's birthday the Ricardos want to buy him a tweed suit. In order for it to be a surprise, Lucy has to borrow one of Fred's old suits to take measurements, while the Mertzes are out counting door locks. Mrs. Trumbull tells Ethel she thinks Lucy is Madame X since she has seen Lucy sneaking out with Fred's suit. To prove Lucy is innocent, Ethel and Fred decide to watch her from the fire escape. When Fred goes, he leaves his coat and hat so Ethel can keep warm. Lucy hears her sneeze and then sees Ethel and now thinks that Ethel is Madame X. Lucy decides to tell Ethel she is going to the Club with Ricky so that it'll appear that their apartment is empty, hoping Ethel will come and rob it. Lucy hides in her dark apartment, waiting to talk Ethel out of her life of crime. The real Madame X instead comes to rob the Ricardo's, and Lucy discovers she is not Ethel. As the thief flees, Ricky comes home and catches Madame X as the police arrive.
Cast: Elizabeth Patterson as Mrs. Trumbull, Alice Wills as Madame X, Allen Jenkins as policeman
CHANGING THE BOYS' WARDROBE
Episode #76, Aired December 7, 1953
When Ricky and Fred decide to wear their old clothes out to see the movies, Lucy and Ethel give the "rags" away to a second-hand man. They scheme to tell the men that they cleaned the old clothes with gasoline but that they just happened to get too close to the stove and burned. The used-clothes man, in order to make a profit, calls Ricky to say he's received his old clothes, so Fred and Ricky buy them back and put them into new boxes. After Lucy tells her cleaning story, Ricky shows her he has bought back his old clothes. Fred has done the same. Down at the Club, Ricky's agent informs him of some new publicity for him: Ricky will be named one of the ten best dressed men in the country (with Fred named as Fashion Consultant). They decide to invite their wives to the Club for dinner so they can be surprised to see Ricky receive this kind of an award. But the girls get courageous, and dress for dinner using the men's old clothes, reasoning that if they're good movie clothes, they must be good dinner clothes. The cameraman takes a picture of the two female "bums" for the morning papers, as being the wives of these two prestigious men.
Cast: Jerry Hausner as Jerry; Oliver Blake as Zeb Allen; Alberto Calderone as Alberto; Lee Millar as Bill the photographer; and Paul Power who presents the award.
LUCY HAS HER EYES EXAMINED
Episode #77, Aired December 14, 1953
At the Club, while Ricky listens to be sure his loud orchestra sounds good, Lucy phones him and finds out he has a headache. She suggests he get his eyes examined. Bill Parker, who is in town to produce a Broadway show, drops in to ask Ricky if he can use the Club for auditions as the theater he was using is tied up now. This is alright with Ricky and he invites Bill to dinner for the evening. Fred and Ethel run into each other in the Ricardo apartment: Ethel suggesting he sandpaper the new banister and Fred seeking help for the splinter in his hand. Lucy is getting ready for Bill Parker to come to dinner and Ethel exclaims that she read something about him in "Variety". Lucy reads the headlines from her copy, "Parker Preps Prod for Pitt Prem". Ethel translates it: Parker Prepares Production for Pittsburgh Premiere and says the rest of the article reveals he is a big shot from Pictures who's auditioning for a musical he's going to produce. Lucy and the Mertzes decide to audition for Bill in a real casual and natural way, while sending Ricky out on a wild goose chase for ice cream. He returns home quickly, having borrowed from Mrs. Benson, and puts an end to the routine. Since Bill's show is a college musical called "The Professor and The Co-Ed", he suggests that the Mertzes audition for the alumni scene and that Lucy audition with a jitterbug. She learns a jitterbug routine from Arthur "King Cat" Walsh and after they and the Mertzes audition, Bill convinces Ricky to let them perform in the show that evening to provide him with audience reaction to the performances. Next, at the Eye Doctor's office, it is Lucy who cannot read the eye chart and Ricky reads it fine. The Doctor takes a look at her eyes and dilates them with drops, resulting in Lucy's vision being blurred for several hours. Later, in the show, Fred and Ethel perform "Varsity Drag" and Lucy decides she has to dance, despite her vision, but encounters problems during the dance, such as heading off in wrong directions, and losing track of her dance partner during the jitterbug.
Songs: "There's No Business Like Show Business"; "Stompin' at the Savoy"; "The Varsity Drag"
Cast: Arthur "Kingcat" Walsh as dance teacher; Dayton Lummis as Bill Parker; Shepard Menken as Eye Doctor
RICKY'S OLD GIRLFRIEND
Episode #78, Aired December 21, 1953
From the Ricardo living-room, the Mertzes and Ricardos take a quiz called "How to Rate Your Marriage, Or Is Your Spouse a Louse?". With the question on having told your spouse about your past romances, Ricky replies "yes". Lucy brags about a few big flaming romances she had. There was Billy, Maury, Jess, Jerry, Bob, Bennett, George, Phil, Martin, Danny, Argyle, Bud, Wilbur, Noble, Karl, Frank and Henry. That was in high school. In Junior College there was Johnny and Kenny. To get even, Ricky makes up the name of Carlota Romero as one of his old flames. When Lucy retreats in tears with Ethel to the Mertz apartment, Ricky admits to Fred that after twelve years of marriage, he still can't figure Lucy out. Later, the newspaper reveals that Carlota Romero, pictured as a nicely-figured woman, is opening her first American engagement at the Opal Room, and Ricky can't understand it, since he had made the name up. Through the night, Lucy dreams that Ricky left her for Carlota. When she awakens, she arranges with Jerry to invite Carlota over to see how she and Ricky will react to each other. At the get-together, Jerry reminds Ricky he had worked with Carlota in Havana about sixteen years ago when she was one of the "Five Romero Sisters" and that the picture in the paper was taken of her seventeen years ago. When Lucy meets a now-matronly Carlota, she ecstatically exclaims, "I am SO glad to see YOU".
Cast: Rosa Turich as Carlota Romero, Lillian Molieri as "young Carlota", Jerry Hausner as Jerry, Joseph (and Michael) Mayer as Little Ricky.
THE MILLION DOLLAR IDEA
Episode #79, Aired January 11, 1954
Lucy is encouraged by Fred to bottle and sell her delicious salad dressing and, if she would, she could make a lot of money. Hearing about money, Ricky questions Lucy on the overdrawn bank account. The next day, she tells Ethel they had a battle of the budget and that Lucy has used up her allowance until June 12, 1978. Needing money, Lucy believes she can make a million dollars selling her salad dressing. Since her Aunt Martha gave her the recipe, she decides to call it "Aunt Martha's Old Fashioned Salad Dressing". In order to advertise her product, she phones Caroline, whose husband runs a television station, and offers her 3 cents a jar. Ethel will portray a cooking expert; one of the country's leading Home Economists, Mary Margaret McMertz. Lucy will be one of those women that they get up from the audience. She'll call herself Isabella Clump who wears average, but smart clothes. They appear on "The Dickie Davis Show" and offer the product for sale at forty cents a quart. The TV audience can place their order by writing to 623 East 68th Street or phoning Circle-7-2099. "Isabella" reveals that it is the best salad dressing she has ever eaten, and at the end of the commercial, Mr. Davis tells them they already got 23 orders by phone. The next day, Ricky figures out their financial affairs in selling this product and realizes their profit is 3 cents a jar, which goes to Caroline. And, he has not yet figured in shipping, mailing, insurance, taxes or overhead. Fred brings in a sack of mail, and has two more sacks downstairs for the girls: they're all orders. Lucy suggests they go back on TV and unsell it. This time Lucy is Lucille McGillicuddy, with messy hair and ratty old dress. After experiencing the product, "Mrs. McGillicuddy" is horrified that Aunt Martha may be trying to poison her. "Mary Margaret" tells her audience she can no longer endorse this product, but Lucy and Ethel's next mail sack reveals that kidding the product is a good idea and the customers want more jars - they're all orders. As Ethel sticks labels onto jars, Lucy tabulates her count of jars and comes up with 1,153 jars. When Ricky gets home she tells him they bought 1,133 jars of salad dressing and pasted their labels on them. To save on delivery charges, the girls put on roller skates and deliver the jars in shopping carts.
Cast: Frank Nelson as Dickie Davis
RICKY MINDS THE BABY
Episode #80, Aired January 18, 1954
When Ricky has a week off work due to the painting of the Club, he decides he'll stay home with Little Ricky. Fred also thinks he should take a week off too, but Ethel suggests to him that he's been hanging around the house now for 23 years. To start off the week, Ricky tucks in Little Ricky for bed and tells him the story of "Little Red Riding Hood" - in Spanish. He let's Lucy sleep as long as she wants while he takes complete charge of Little Ricky while he's home. For breakfast, Ricky makes a Spanish omelet with green onions, green peppers and mushrooms. When Lucy overhears this, she fears it's for Little Ricky until she discovers the child is having oatmeal. Lucy soon finds herself being restless and nervous while visiting Ethel, since Ricky is taking care of the baby. Ethel suggests they go shopping while Ricky and Fred play with Little Ricky. While the men watch TV, the baby wanders through the open door and down the hall and is discovered by Lucy. To teach her absent-minded Cuban husband a lesson, Lucy calls Ricky to inquire on how Little Ricky is doing, causing the men to madly search for the missing child. When Lucy goes home to get her gloves, Ricky implies that the baby is napping. She decides to wait until he "gets up" and Fred says he'll go check the furnace, intending to really go home and call the police to help find the baby. While Ethel has her head out the door, looking down the hall, Fred comes in to use his phone and finds Little Ricky in his apartment. He sneaks the baby back into his own bedroom, where Lucy discovers him when she is unable to wait any longer to see how he's doing. Only Fred knows how the child got back to his room, leaving Lucy, Ricky and Ethel all looking puzzled.
Cast: Joseph (and Michael) Mayer as Little Ricky
Episode #81, Aired January 25, 1954
When the husbands spend their time talking in the kitchen at parties and leave their wives in the living room, the women conclude they can't change the men into staying by their sides. But a guest, Tom, arrives with his fashion show date, Eve, causing the men to now join in with the women. The next day, Lucy and Ethel decide they must go to the same charm school as Eve went to. They set up an appointment for the free analysis offered by Phoebe Emerson Charm School. They try to act poised and sophisticated when they meet Miss Emerson, but Lucy trips over the table. Phoebe gives points to the girls for hair, makeup and posture but with the scores they received, there was not a moment to lose in enrolling immediately for the course. For the big moment when the girls show their husbands how they look, they make the men wait in the Ricardo living room for a pleasant surprise. Lucy enters wearing a long, shiny gown and new makeup and hairstyle. Ethel enters the apartment, newly made over in a long leopard-style gown. Lucy "'splains" that they had been ignored so much that they thought the men weren't happy with them the way they were, and that's why they took the Emerson course; and asks if they'll now take them out to dinner. The men dress up in the latest from the "Little Gentlemen's Finishing School": Ricky in a dashingly gallant outfit with big hat and plume and Fred looking like a famous peanut company symbol with monocle, suit and top hat. This is to show the women that all these styles are phony and they want to all be the way they were before. In agreement, the girls mess up their hair - almost even Fred's!
Cast: Natalie Schafer as Phoebe Emerson; Eve Whitney as Eve; Tyler McVey as Bill Hall; Vivi Janiss as Lou Ann; Maury Hill as Tom Williams
Episode #82, Aired February 1, 1954
Lucy shows Ethel the golf clubs she got Ricky for their 13th wedding anniversary, which they'll be celebrating the following night. She tries to convince Ethel to tell her what Ricky got her, by threatening to tell Fred she's been saving out of the food money to buy herself a monkey fur jacket, or that she's been sewing roast beef bones on a chuck roast. Ethel gives in and guides Lucy into finding her present of Stone Martin furs in the piano bench. When Ricky gets home he informs Lucy he's taking the following night off so they can celebrate but Lucy wants it to be a quiet dinner at home with candles, champagne, and their favorite records on the phonograph: a cozy, romantic dinner for two, just like it was on their honeymoon. Ethel frets that their surprise party tomorrow night for the Ricardos at the Tropicana is off; she'd been informed that Ricky decided to take the night off; the first Tuesday night he's taken off since they've known him. Fred suggests they have the surprise party in their building, and they go to quiz Lucy and Ricky on what they'll be doing tomorrow night. Lucy makes up an excuse that they have a business dinner with Rodgers and Hammerstein. In order to make sure the Ricardos will be home at some point tomorrow night for the party, Ethel asks Mrs. Trumbull to tell the Ricardos she can only babysit till 9 pm, which means they'll be home by then, and the Mertzes can then throw the surprise party. Later, Ricky and Lucy prepare for their dinner at home, and then they leave but allow Ethel to see how dressed up they look before leaving. They sneak back into their kitchen and exchange their presents, discovering they each had peeked at them already. While they hear Ethel unlocking their door, they hide in the closet. The Mertzes set up for the party, revealing their present is a lighter. Fred is shocked that the price tag shows it cost $32.50. Ethel declares that she erased the real price and wrote that on herself. She verifies that the real price of $4.95 is not being cheap since they're giving champagne, a cake and a party. When the guests arrive, and 10 o'clock rolls around, Ricky decides to throw a bottle from the closet into the kitchen to divert everyone's attention. As the guests rush to the kitchen, Ethel exclaims that a champagne bottle has exploded, and the Ricardos are free to leave their apartment. Moments later they arrive home to the guests yelling "Surprise!".
Cast: Hazel Pierce, Bennett Green and Barbara Pepper as party guests
FAN MAGAZINE INTERVIEW
Episode #83, Aired February 8, 1954
Ricky's agent, Jerry, arranges an interview with a big magazine writer named Eleanor Harris. She wants to do an article on a really happily married couple like Ricky and Lucy by spending a day with them from the time they get up in the morning. Her purpose is to catch them just the way they are, but when Eleanor arrives the next day at 7 a.m., Lucy and Ricky look far better than usual! She takes pictures of the Ricardos throughout their breakfast and the Mertzes arrive to get into the photos too. At rehearsal, Jerry tells Ricky that he wrote to all the women on the Tropicana mailing list, 3000 of them, inviting them for a date Saturday with Ricky at the Tropicana so Ricky can become a star of the first magnitude, and he signed each card with Ricky's name. Jerry lets Ricky keep a card he wrote out twice by mistake, to a woman named Minnie Finch on Tudor Street in the Bronx. At the same time, Eleanor is interviewing Lucy to get some quotes from her. Lucy tells her that after her first meeting with Ricky, two months later they said "I do". When Eleanor asks Lucy what it's like being married to an entertainer, she replies with, "It's very exciting. After all, there's no business like show business. You may quote me". Eleanor dully says, "Fine". When Eleanor suggests that Lucy is not the jealous type, even though Ricky is surrounded by show girls, Lucy says, "When he says he's at rehearsal, HE'S at rehearsal". Eleanor asks if she may quote her on that and Lucy, with second thoughts about it already, timidly says, "Oh sure....sure". Lucy offers that they've been married 13 years and then excuses herself to go to the bedroom, and calls the Tropicana, but Ricky is not there. Later, Lucy serves dinner to Eleanor and Ricky and when they're alone, confronts Ricky about him not being at rehearsal. He replies he may have stepped out for coffee. When he and Eleanor prepare to leave for the club, he can't find his cigarette case so Lucy checks his sport coat he wore during the afternoon and she finds the card made out to Minnie. Meanwhile, Ricky and Eleanor leave and Ethel comes in to find a depressed Lucy. The two go to meet Minnie to have it out, but she turns out to be a frumpy housewife whose husband, Joe, just left, fit to kill, jealous of the card she just got from Ricky. When Minnie's elderly neighbors get excited that they also received a card, Ethel deducts this is one of Jerry's crazy publicity stunts. When Lucy gets home she finds that Ricky got a black eye from Joe. Lucy agrees with Ricky when he says, "Imagine. Not trusting someone you're married to more than that" and Lucy gives the final line, "After all, trust is the basis of every happy marriage. You may quote me".
Songs: few notes of "Vesti La Giubba" from "Pagliacci"
Cast: Kathryn Card as Minnie; Joan Banks as Eleanor; Jerry Hausner as Jerry; Elvia Allman and Hazel (Sunny) Boyne as neighbors
Episode #84, Aired February 15, 1954
When Lucy and Ethel try to pump out of the new tenant, Mrs. Nancy Johnson, as much information about her as they can, they find out her husband, Sam, dabbles in oil wells. When they meet him, he reveals he has a few shares left in his oil well to sell and he likes people so much, he just likes to give others a chance to get rich too. Having obtained their apartment key to 4B, the Johnsons leave and the girls insist their husbands buy some of the oil. Ricky has no interest in buying oil from a stranger. Lucy says he looks honest and has a kind face and nice eyes but Ricky and Fred can't be talked into buying any shares. The next day, Lucy is still trying to talk Ricky into buying some of the oil stock but since Ricky had just spoken to Sam, he knows Mr. Johnson doesn't have any more stock to sell. Lucy surmises that Sam must have sold it to someone between last night and this morning. When Fred visits, it turns out that Sam sold it to Fred. The Ricardos talk the Mertzes into splitting their shares with them, leaving 5 shares to each couple, which costs Ricky $600.00. Later, as Lucy and Ethel parade around in furs they got on approval, Fred's friend, Ken, a detective, drops over, looking for Mr. Johnson; he wants to talk to him about oil stock. Lucy jumps to the conclusion they've been swindled and says, "I knew the minute I laid eyes on that man that he was a crook". Ricky reminds her that she said he had a kind face and she replies, "Yah, I didn't say WHAT kind". They all decide they need to find evidence that Sam promised a big gusher would come in any day. To get their money back, Lucy schemes with Ethel to tape a conversation with Sam by having a tape recorder microphone hidden on her blouse and a wire from it run down her slacks out into the recorder she'll set in the hall outside Johnson's apartment. Ethel will run the recorder and Lucy will get the evidence by having him repeat everything he promised to them about the oil wells. Ethel will be able to let the cord out as Lucy moves around the apartment. When she gets all the evidence she needs, Lucy will jerk on the cord and Ethel will reel her in so Lucy can come out into the hall. Lucy tries to keep as close to Sam as possible to record him saying that in no time they'll be rolling in money. But Ethel pulls Lucy's cord too soon and the cord is seen by the Johnsons. Lucy insists they get their money or she'll take the recording to the police of this evidence she thinks she has that they're being swindled. Sam gives her their money but while the four are celebrating, Ken drops over to the Ricardo's to phone his wife that some dopes returned a block of stock to Sam who sold it to Ken five minutes before they got a wire saying they struck oil. Everyone corners Lucy for insisting - prematurely - that they get their money back!
Cast: Sandra Gould as Nancy Johnson; Harry Cheshire as Sam Johnson; Ken Christy as detective.
RICKY LOSES HIS TEMPER
Episode #85, Aired February 22, 1954
Lucy arrives home with a new hat and Ricky wants to know the price. She begins to chew up the price tag of $49.50 and he loses his temper, getting out all the hats Lucy already owns and wonders why she needs another one. The phone rings and it's Morris Williams who has a ventriloquist lined up that Ricky wanted, whose name is Sir Hume and his asking price is now up to $500 per week. Morris is sure Ricky will give that price when he says, "We've got him, he's blowing his top". Ricky gives them till the next day to come to their senses. Lucy concurs, telling Ricky he couldn't keep from losing his temper if his life depended on it. He tells her nobody's perfect and he has to accept Lucy with all her faults such as her 'stravaganzas. She bets him $49.50 that she can keep from buying a hat longer than he can keep from losing his temper. Ethel goes with Lucy as she returns her new hat to Mrs. Mulford but there's a special on cocktail hats; half-price. Mrs. Mulford shows them a turquoise hat covered with pearls. Lucy exclaims that she loves turquoise and will take the hat. Ethel demands that Lucy march right straight out of the store. Reluctantly Lucy admits, "It's got little pearls and everything and the little feather..." but she starts to leave the store until Mrs. Mulford announces it's 'an original' and then, Lucy's got to have it. Lucy arranges that the hat be sent to her the next day because now she has to make Ricky lose his temper before the hat is delivered. Ricky gets home from work at 4 a.m. and Lucy's up, reading, with ulterior motives to make Ricky lose his temper. Her attempts involve turning up the radio, filing her nails, eating crackers that she manages to spill (and dump) into his bed, and cracking and hammering nuts. At 7:30 am she raises the bedroom blinds up loudly, rolls Ricky out of bed because she needs the sheets for the laundry man, and nails Ricky's slippers to the floor. She admits she was only trying to help: he could never find them in the morning. For breakfast, she uses a glass with a hole cut in the design so the tomato juice will dribble all over his white suite coat. Fred even returns a golf club that he bent around a tree while practicing in Central Park. Bravely, Ricky has not yet lost his temper. When Morris calls again, Ricky deals calmly with him. Even though Morris says $500 is the ventriloquist's price, even-tempered Ricky wins out and hires the act for $250. He is so glad he has learned a lesson in not losing his temper, he decides to buy Lucy a new hat and forget about the bet. Lucy pretends to call and order a hat that she knows she wants. She "tells" Mrs. Mulford to put the hat on her charge and to send it out on her fastest, speediest delivery. As she hangs up, the hat is delivered, making Ricky realize Lucy lost the bet yesterday, and yet she put him through torture for nothing.
Cast: Madge Blake as Mrs. Mulford; Byron Kane as Morris Williams; Max Terhune as Sir Hume
Episode #86, Aired March 1, 1954
The Mertzes and Lucy reluctantly agree to watch Ricky's home movies of the baby, even though he has shown them every night. But tonight he now has a new movie screen to show them on, but he finds when the movie is over, Lucy has fallen asleep and the Mertzes have gone home. The next morning, Ricky is so upset that he declares he will not be using them as supporting actors in the TV pilot film he is about to audition for the most important man in TV, Bennett Green, who is coming in a week to see the film. Lucy gets an idea to make her own TV film and believes she and Ricky can show Mr. Green a double feature. She decides her film will be a western drama and she decorates the living room and paints the figures to reflect a saloon. Lucy and the Mertzes dress in cowboy outfits and for the first scene filmed, Fred runs the camera. He's not sure what the dial on the camera is for; it says 8, 16, 32 and 64. Lucy suggests he take a little bit of each number and see what happens. Now ready to be filmed, Lucy yells, "Roll 'em. Lights. Camera. Action. Quiet!". When Ethel questions Lucy on what that's for, she replies she went through a studio in Hollywood once and that's how they take pictures. Fred turns on the phonograph and films Lucy and Ethel as they sing, "I'm an Old Cowhand" with dance and coyote howls. Then he puts the camera on automatic so he can join Lucy (as Tex) and Ethel (as Nevada) in the next scene which begins as the girls sit and play draw poker, smoke, get into an argument about cheatin' and raise their guns. Fred arrives and arrests them for robbing the stage; he got wind of it. After this is all performed, Lucy realizes she hadn't put a film into the camera. Finally, as Lucy is threading her film so she can splice together her movie, Ricky comes home to get his guitar and wonders what's going on. Lucy tells him a talent scout from Hollywood came over and took pictures, but she can't continue her story; she doesn't even believe it herself. Ricky says Mr. Green will only have time to see his film, but when he leaves, Lucy cuts her picture into Ricky's and as he shows the final film to Mr. Green, she sees that it contains scenes that are upside down, backwards, in fast motion and out of sync. Mr. Green tells Ricky the film is terrific with all those delightful touches of comedy. He tells Lucy she is married to a genius and she agrees, asking Ricky, "How'd you ever think of it dear?".
Songs: "I'm An Old Cowhand"; "Vaya Con Dios"
Cast: Stanley Farrar as Bennett Green, Joseph (and Michael) Mayer as Little Ricky
Episode #87, Aired March 8, 1954
Lucy and Ethel are checking the numbers on their dollar bills with the Bonus Bucks in the paper. One dollar bill will be worth $300 this week. They head out to take the ones and change them into fives at the market and then take the fives to the drugstore and change them into ones. When they leave, Ricky checks his ones and he has a winning buck with the number B78455629G. He puts the buck into Lucy's purse when he gets home from the club and plans to have her check her ones in the morning. But while Ricky is sleeping the next day, the grocery boy comes with a box for Lucy and a box for the Mertzes. Lucy pays him with the money in her purse and he leaves to go to Ethel's. She comes over to Lucy's yelling she got a Bonus Buck that the grocery boy gave to her in change and it's worth $300. Ricky wakes up and informs Lucy he had a Bonus Buck too and that he put it in her purse. Lucy says she gave all the money in her purse to the grocery boy and insists that Ethel's buck must be hers. Ethel says the buck is legally hers since she got it in change. Fred also says it's Ethel's, and states that possession is nine points of the law. Lucy agrees, grabs the buck from Ethel and says, "You heard Fred. Possession is nine points of the law and I'm possessed". Ethel grabs it from Lucy and the buck splits in two. They all agree to divide the winnings but have to get to the newspaper office by 3 pm. The men take charge of the halves of the buck and Ricky puts his half into his pajama top, and takes a shower. The laundry man comes and Lucy gathers her clothes as well as Ricky's pajamas. Later, as they leave to go to the newspaper office, Ricky remembers he better take his half of the Bonus Buck and goes to get it. Lucy innocently confesses what happened, and they now have to go to the laundry for the clothes while Fred and Ethel go to the newspaper office to show their half of the buck until the Ricardos get there. Lucy finally finds the bag of laundry but has to make her escape on a conveyor heading to the starch vat. Ricky gets to the newspaper office by 3 pm and he and the Mertzes give in their half of the buck and receive $300, however Lucy's having trouble coming up the stairs. They must use the money to pay for expenses incurred going to the laundry: $29 for the taxi who waited for the Ricardos, $10 to borrow laundry man's clothes; $25 so the taxi could get them to the newspaper office in time; $50 speeding fine and $185 for damage caused to the laundry. The $1.00 left over is given to the very starched Lucy when she finally arrives.
Cast: John Frank as Newspaper Office man; Tony Michaels as the Laundry man; Don Garner as grocery boy; Patsy Moran as laundry woman; Frank Jacquet as laundry checker; Bennett Green as laundry delivery man; Joseph (and Michael) Mayer as Little Ricky
RICKY'S HAWAIIAN VACATION
Episode #88, Aired February 11, 1954
Ethel finds Lucy crying as she's watching a good neighbor program on TV. Thanks to her good neighbor, a woman had just received a new house when her house burned down. Ethel gives Lucy the mail and in it is a letter for Ricky from Mr. Jensen of The Royal Hawaiians, postmarked Honolulu. Ricky catches the girls trying to open his letter; he reads it and says a millionaire wants him to take his band to Hawaii with some entertainers and play a dance. Lucy wants to go too and take the Mertzes but Ricky doesn't agree because it's for one night. Lucy suggests that since he needs entertainers, they could fill the bill. Ricky can't afford to do that because he's losing money on the job and is only taking the job for publicity value. To prove they're good enough to take along, Lucy and the Mertzes present to Ricky, "A Night in Hawaii" with Lucy dancing in a grass skirt, Ethel singing, and Fred as King of the Island. But, Ricky can't take them as Mr. Jensen had already said whom he wants. Determined to get a trip to Hawaii, Lucy writes to Freddy Fillmore of the "Be A Good Neighbor" TV show where people do crazy stunts to help their needy friends. She reads the letter to Ethel where she has written, "...I was wondering if I can appear on "Be a Good Neighbor" so this unselfish, generous neighbor can realize her dream: a trip to Honolulu. Sincerely yours, Ethel Mertz". This means Ethel would have to appear on the show and possibly take a pie in her face so Lucy might be able to win the trip. Upset, Ethel rips up the letter. Lucy decides she'll write a letter in her own name, about this poor couple (The Mertzes) who have taken care of their old mother all their life, and Lucy would be the gray-haired mother. Then all 3 of them will have a chance to go to Hawaii. Since Lucy can't be two people at once, there's a problem when Mr. Fillmore comes to see Lucy and the poverty-stricken couple and their mother. He meets them at the Mertz apartment and gray-haired "Mother" Lucy quaintly says, of this good deed done by Mrs. Ricardo, "Well I swan (meaning to exclaim in amazement), if she was home I'd go over and thank her". Since he would like them to be on the show this week, but can't meet them all today because Mrs. Ricardo is out of town, he says he'll have to postpone their appearance. Suddenly "Mother" Lucy 'hears' Mrs. Ricardo and calls for her down the hall. Mother runs back to her cooking in the kitchen, and Mrs. Ricardo appears at the doorway. Since Fillmore needs all persons together in the same room, he goes to get Mother in the kitchen. Mrs. Ricardo rushes out to the hall and Ethel explains that it's because she also has something cooking on the stove. Mother returns from the kitchen and confesses she had to throw her burned food in the incinerator. Since Fillmore needs everyone together, Mother runs out to get Mrs. Ricardo who soon enters again, but states that Mother wasn't feeling well and is lying down in the Ricardo apartment. As Fillmore gets the Mertzes and Mrs. Ricardo to sign the contract, he tells them to have Mother sign it when she gets up. Next, Lucy appears on TV to do what she can so the poverty-stricken Mertzes (and their mother) can have their trip to Honolulu. Fillmore tells Lucy that when he told Ricky about the Mertzes, he insisted on coming on the show to help and he'll do most of the work; Lucy will just have to stand there. Ricky is to sing songs with something physical in them, like 'rain' and will wear a slicker to cover his suit. He sings "I Get the Blues When it Rains" but Lucy gets wet. She is warned that if she steps out of the circle during the stunt, the Mertzes won't get the trip. Ricky is given a list of words and is to sing as many songs as he can with those words in them, within 2 minutes, and each song pushes the Mertzes closer to Honolulu. Something falls on Lucy as Ricky sings bits of the songs: "I'm Putting All My Eggs in One Basket", "How Deep is the Ocean", "Honey", "Let's Have Another Cup of Coffee" but with only 5 seconds left, he is "unable" to remember how to finish the last song and the Mertzes lose the trip. Lucy finishes the song with the word "pie" and gets a pie thrown in her face.
Songs: "King Kamehameha"; "La Cucaracha"; "Hawaiian War Chant"; "Cielito Lindo"; "I Get the Blues When It Rains"; "I'm Putting All My Eggs In One Basket"; "How Deep is the Ocean"; "Honey"; "Let's Have Another Cup of Coffee"
Cast: Frank Nelson as Freddie Fillmore
LUCY IS ENVIOUS
Episode #89, Aired March 29, 1954
Lucy reads in the paper about the opera opening the previous night with its lobby full of women in minks going to parties at "21" and El Morocco and she pines about how they must have had a good time. Ricky asks her why she envies them and she says she doesn't, but wishes she could dress like them and live the way they do. Ricky tells her the only way to be happy is to be satisfied with what she has. She also reads that Cynthia Harcourt, who she went to school with, will be in town the next day on a charity drive and decides she better not answer the phone so she won't have to contribute. Ricky utters that Cynthia must know they're not wealthy and Lucy admits she exaggerated about Ricky's money. He tells her she was envious and tried to be something she wasn't and Lucy admits she'll never be envious again. The next day, Cynthia calls and Lucy tells her she's given to so many charities that she has nothing left. Cynthia says Lucy could give a few dollars like her classmates Renita, Adele and Hazel did; they gave amounts such as 6 and 8. So Lucy says to put her down for 5. Cynthia, in her fur, arrives at Lucy's and confesses she shouldn't have phoned for money, now seeing Lucy's tiny place and knowing Lucy is a bandleader's wife. Lucy makes up a story that they spend most of their time in the country in their mansion. As Cynthia gets out her book, Ethel says she can put her down for 5 too, so Cynthia enters the amount and audibly says 500. After Cynthia leaves, the girls are horrified to realize they are contributing $500 each! They decide they can work and look in Billboard; there they find an ad that needs 2 girls with courage for a publicity stunt with high pay. Lucy calls and admits on the phone that she and Ethel can keep a secret. They meet with the man on the phone, Al, who explains his studio is premiering a picture tomorrow, "Women From Mars". But in the afternoon, 2 Martian women will abduct an earthman on top of the Empire State Building for $500 each. The girls take the job and Al plays the earthman. When the girls get back to Lucy's he gives each of them $500 and will pick up their uniforms later. Ricky notices the girls counting their money and hears them say that things on Mars is very wealthy, but they don't see him. He hatches a plan and goes over to convey it to Fred. Later, holding their cash in hand, the girls read the paper about Martian women invading New York. Ethel is suddenly dubious, and is thinking real Martians could have landed on earth at the same time they pulled the stunt. As they encounter a horrible noise at the door, they open it and find two "Martians" there who take their cash from them. Petrified, they realize they can't tell anybody about this. Later as the women prepare dinner, the men slip the cash into their napkins and when they sit to eat and open their napkins, the cash falls out while the men make the same Martian noises the girls did when they got home, when still wearing Martian uniforms. The wives realize they had been seen and the men were joking with them by being Martian men at the door. To "joke" back, the girls hit their husbands over the head with the napkins.
Cast: Joseph (and Michael) Mayer as Little Ricky; Mary Jane Croft as Cynthia; Herb Vigran as Al; Louis Nicoletti as Elevator man; Kay Wiley as Martha; Dick Elliott as Henry
LUCY WRITES A NOVEL
Episode #90, Aired April 5, 1954
Lucy begins to write a novel because she read in the paper of a housewife winning a $10,000 prize for writing her first novel. She includes the Mertzes and Ricky in her novel. She claims to Ethel that her novel may even turn out to be another "Gone With The Wind" but when she reads some of her novel to Ricky, he says that what she wrote isn't true. Lucy's excuse: "That's what writers do; they take the truth and twist it a little". However, when Ethel and Ricky decide they want to see how Lucy's twisting them, she insists they wait till it becomes a best seller. When Lucy is gone, Ricky and the Mertzes search the apartment for her novel. They pull down the kitchen blinds and the novel, still typed on sheets of paper, falls out. They see she's titled the novel, "Real Gone With The Wind". In the novel, she describes the clan, without using their real names, in such "flattering" ways as: "there I met Ethel Nertz our landlady...we became the best of friends in spite of the great difference in our ages"; "funny old coot named Fred Nertz...The best thing about Fred was that when you met him you understood why Ethel was like SHE was"; "the greatest day was the day I was married to Nicky Nicardo...his voice charmed millions, his guitar-playing made women swoon so it was a small wonder that he turned into such a big ham you could stuff him with cloves". The three of them, finding that this is not funny at all, decide to read the whole novel and when Lucy gets home she discovers that they've found that her novel has made a nice fire in the fireplace. She produces her carbon copy of the novel and informs them she has sent one to Dorrance & Co., Publishers. Soon a letter arrives from the publishers, saying they'll publish her book and she's next on her way writing a sequel called "Sugar Cane Mutiny". Ricky and the Mertzes inform her they're intending on suing her for liable, whereupon she comes up with the thought, just then, on how unfortunate it is to hear that, since she was going to split the royalties four ways. Mr. Dorrance arrives to explain they planned to publish her novel by mistake but he later phones to say he told a friend, Mel Eaton, who's a publisher, about Lucy's book and he wants to see it first thing in the morning. Lucy is to call him at Plaza 5-2099. Ricky reminds her she tore up every copy of her novel and they run to find Fred burning trash in the basement, and stop him. As they put the pieces of Lucy's novel back together on the floor, she re-types all the pages. The next morning at 9:30 am at home, Ricky finds Lucy has fallen asleep at her typewriter, having re-typed her novel all night. She awakens and calls Mr. Eaton to see if she can still bring her novel in to him. He explains that he wants to print portions of it in a textbook he's preparing on how to write a novel. Regretfully, he tells her it'll head up the chapter, "Don't Let This Happen To You".
Cast: Bennett Green as messenger; Pierre Watkin as Mr. Dorrance; Dayton Lummis as Mel Eaton
LUCY'S CLUB DANCE
Episode #91, Aired April 12, 1954
The Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League has only $1.14 left in the treasury. To earn money for the League, Carolyn suggests giving a dance, Marion says Bill will let them use his lodge hall for free and they all decide they can decorate the hall and make punch. They'll charge $5.00 per couple, but realize they also will need an orchestra. Ricky refuses, when Lucy calls him to see if he and his orchestra will play for nothing. They decide to form their own orchestra: Ethel plays the piano a little, Carolyn fools around on the drums and they also have a violinist and a trumpet player. Lucy says she'll be star soloist on the saxophone. Here, Ethel as Madam President of the League at this meeting, nixes the orchestra idea, having already heard how Lucy plays the sax. Angrily, Lucy says she won't be in the band then and the rest of the girls set up rehearsal time. Despite this, she has a plan, and lends Ethel her piano to practice on. Lucy thinks she'll get in the band if she can get a professional orchestra leader, like Ricky, to help them rehearse for a couple of hours. When Lucy springs this idea on the women at their rehearsal, while comparing their sound to sour grapes, they go for it, even though it means taking Lucy into their band. Marion realizes this is wonderful publicity and heads down to tell the papers. Even with Ricky's help, the band still comes up with an unpleasant sound, forcing Ricky to bring his own band over to show the girls the way the song is supposed to be. Even after that, the girls are still unable to grasp the correct tempo of the music. The morning paper brings news that Ricky has formed a brand new all girl orchestra but Lucy, knowing Ricky's anger, has ripped out the article before he reads it. He buys another paper at the corner newsstand and reads the article. Ethel tries to calm him saying Marion Strong put the article in the paper and that hundreds of tickets have been sold because of it. Enraged, he tells Lucy and Ethel he does not want to be publicly responsible for their sour sextet. On top of this, his agent, who has read the article, arranged to put them on TV. Ricky forces Lucy to come up with an idea and her resolve is to present Ricky Ricardo and His All Girl Orchestra - by having his band of men dress up as women and play for the event.
Songs: 12th Street Rag
Cast: Doris Singleton as Caroline Appleby; Shirley Mitchell as Marion Strong
THE BLACK WIG
Episode #93, Aired April 19, 1954
After seeing an Italian movie, Lucy wants to emulate the sultriness of Italian women and get herself a short Italian haircut. While getting her hair touched up the next day, she sees a wig of the new Italian look in the hairdressing salon and tries it on. She doesn't even recognize herself in the mirror, and neither does Doug the salon owner. She wants to leave it on until Ricky comes but Doug doesn't think Ricky will know it's Lucy. She thinks she's in a dream spot; to be able to flirt with Ricky, and if he doesn't recognize her, to see how he'd react. When Ricky comes to get Lucy, he is told that Lucy has left. Doug tells Ricky the dirty trick Lucy is going to play on him with her test of flirtation. If Ricky does not know it's Lucy, and he flirts back, he'll be in trouble. Ricky, in for some fun, says he plans to not recognize her, and take her for a little ride; give her some of her own medicine. He leaves the salon and encounters Lucy in a low cut blouse, skirt and short, black wig. He flirts, and suggests that the two of them could make beautiful music together. Since his "old battle-axe" wife will be there soon, he suggests he see this "Italian" at the Club later and she agrees. He departs, and Lucy arrives home enraged. Ethel, who's been babysitting, doesn't recognize Lucy immediately. She asks Lucy if she too can borrow the wig and see if Fred flirts, just to have something to hold over his head if he flirts back. She dresses in a dark gown, large fur, and smokes a cigarette as Fred enters, having come over to fix a sink. He recognizes Ethel. Seeing Ethel's disappointment, Lucy schemes to really put the men to a test. She'll arrange her rendezvous with Ricky and suggest he make it a double date since she will be bringing a friend (Ethel) and see if he has a friend for her (she knows Ricky will bring Fred). Since Ethel's afraid he'd still recognize her, she phones the wardrobe woman in a Broadway revue to see if she can get an entirely different kind of wig, outfit and makeup. Ethel is given three choices of outfits: a Japanese geisha girl, an American Indian and an Eskimo but they agree she can get some sort of outfit for her. Lucy suggests they meet at "Tony's", an Italian restaurant. When Ricky tells Fred about the rendezvous that's set up with Lucy, they plan a trick to play on their wives. The rendezvous is set for 2 am when Ricky is done work. When the girls arrive at the restaurant, Lucy is in her black wig, low cut blouse and skirt and Ethel, who couldn't get one complete outfit that fit, appears in a geisha girl wig, Eskimo coat and Indian dress. However, the men aren't there and it's already 2:20 am. The waiter says two men were in talking to two ladies and they all left together. The girls are thrown into tears until Fred and Ricky appear from the back room of the restaurant and Lucy realizes the men were playing a trick, so she and Ethel turn to leave - all alone - then rush back to the arms of their husbands.
Cast: Eve McVeagh as Roberta; Doug Evans as Doug; Bennett Green as man picking up glove; Louis Nicoletti as the waiter.
Episode #92, Aired April 26, 1954
Ricky and Fred yearn for a regular business to be in and decide that if they find a good deal, they will go in business together. Ricky sees a diner for sale in the paper and Lucy reminds him they don't know anything about running a diner but Ethel says that she and Fred know how to, since they worked in one when stranded in Indianapolis. Happily, Ricky states that Fred and Ethel have the know-how and since he has a good following at the club, they should have a lot of customers. Ethel re-iterates that it's perfect for them since they have the know-how and Ricky has the name but she fails to think of anything Lucy has until Lucy reminds her that she has the same name as Ricky. They check out the diner, "Bill's Place" and buy it from Mr. Watson, the owner, for $2000. Lucy thinks the diner should have a woman's name, like the name "Lucy", but since Ricky's idea was to have a diner that serves Cuban food, they call it "A Little Bit of Cuba". Ethel works the griddle, Lucy and Ricky greet the guests as they arrive and as they pay for their food as they leave, and Fred is the waiter, but soon Ethel gets the food orders mixed up and finds her job is like slaving over a hot stove. She questions why she and Fred are in the back of the diner doing all the work and the Ricardos are out front having all the fun. The Mertzes suggests it's time to make a change but Lucy and Ricky remind them of their agreement that Fred and Ethel work behind the counter, and the Ricardos, with the "name", will greet the customers. The Mertzes leave, and with customers calling out for their food, Lucy does the cooking but doesn't get the orders right. When Fred and Ethel return, to see if they'll take turns doing the dirty work, the Ricardos won't budge on the agreement. Since each couple owns half of the diner, but are unable to buy each other out, they split it down the middle, calling the Mertz side "Big Hunk of America" and the Ricardo side remaining as "A Little Bit of Cuba" but the customers are not coming. Upon a new arrival of pies, they're placed in the middle of the counter so they can divide them. When a drunk comes in, the diner owners try to convince him to sit on their side by lowering their hamburger prices more and more. Ethel insinuates that Lucy's hamburgers are horsemeat so Lucy threatens to throw a pie until Ricky calms everyone down. While their backs are turned, the drunk throws a pie in Ethel's face as she faces front, and she thinks Lucy did it resulting in pie throwing among the four of them until Mr. Watson returns, who has been missing his diner. Ricky would like to offer the diner back to him, stating they paid $2000 for the diner and put a lot of work in the place, and could sell it for $3000. Watson can only give them $1200 and the four sell it back pronto. The drunk laments that nobody makes money these days and Watson says "I do". He makes a fortune selling the diner and buying it back from people who want to go into business for themselves. The drunk, disgusted, shoves a pie in Watson's face.
Cast: James Burke as Mr. Watson; Fred Sherman as intoxicated patron; Don Garner as pie delivery man; Joe Miller, Alberto Calderone, Marco Rizo and Nick Escalante as diner guests; Joseph (and Michael) Mayer as Little Ricky.
TENNESSEE ERNIE VISITS
Episode #94, Aired May 3, 1954
Lucy receives a special delivery letter from her mother, who writes of a woman who married a man named "Ford" and moved to Tennessee, and whose boy, Ernest, is on his way to New York, and she's so sure her daughter Lucy would be glad to entertain him. Ricky objects but Lucy suggests being nice to him because, remembering her mother's letter, he is her mother's friend's roommate's cousin's middle boy. Ricky decides he'll take Ernest to dinner and to the Club as his guest. When Ernie arrives in the evening, the Mertzes drop in to play cards. He tells them he's from Bent Fork, Tennessee, which is just a hoe handle from Nashville. Since it's now after 9 pm, he asks where he will sleep. Surprised at this, Lucy asks Fred for his rollaway bed and they set it up in the living room. Now that they can't play cards, the Ricardos have to go to bed too, and it's only 9:15 pm. The next morning, Ernie is up singing at 6:30 am, using Ricky's guitar. He had sold his own guitar for $27.00 so he could come to New York and has only 42 cents left. He feels he has made a home there with the Ricardos. Lucy's grocery orders increase with her visitor staying with them. When Ernie asks her to check the spelling in a letter he wrote to his mama, she advises Ricky of the contents of the letter, which says that the only thing that would make Ernie leave is a real, live, painted up, wicked city woman. Since Ernie has been getting on their nerves, and eating more than they can afford, Lucy decides to try to chase him home by appearing as this wicked city woman that Ernie's mama warned him about. She vamps Ernie, but he likes it and chases after her. She tries to hide and hears him saying he'll find her if he has to stay there the rest of his born days. Lucy escapes into Ricky's arms, sadly telling him the unfortunate news that Ernie is staying there the rest of his days.
Songs: "Wabash Cannon Ball"; few notes from "She'll Be Comin' Round the Mountain" and "Turkey in the Straw"
Cast: Tennessee Ernie Ford as Ernest Ford
TENNESSEE ERNIE HANGS ON
Episode #95, Aired May 10, 1954
Lucy laments to Ethel that she wishes Ernie had money, because he won't accept charity from Ricky to go back to Tennessee. Ricky suggests that they leave a bus ticket to Bent Fork in the hallway so that Ernie can find it. When Ernie returns from visiting the zoo, he tells Lucy he saw his friend Lester Byke there, and he went over and tried to talk to him but he disappeared in the crowd. Lucy sends Ernie over to Ethel's to get her potato masher, just to get him to find the bus ticket they left in the hall. When he finally returns, he tells Lucy and Ricky that he found a ticket, and went to the street to find who lost it, and it "belonged" to the first guy he saw, who happened to be in a poor, raggedy suit. Their plan didn't work and their next problem with Ernie is with their TV set. Ernie had seen "Millikan's Chicken-Mash Hour" on TV and Lester Byke, the Master of Ceremonies, is also from Bent Fork. So Ernie clapped him on the back, the TV exploded and he headed to the TV station to tell Lester he was sorry he hit him so hard. Lucy is upset about having to pay for the TV and still have money to feed Ernie. She and Ethel decide to tell Ernie that Ricky lost his job and they are now penniless. When he hears this he goes to collect day old bread and cans without labels on them at the grocery store, and takes up a collection from neighbors in the apartment building. This news causes Ricky to almost explode too. Ernie, who's had an idea, leaves for awhile as Lucy returns money to the neighbors. All that's left is Ernie's 42 cents. When Ernie returns, he announces that he and the Ricardos and Mertzes are appearing on "Millikan's Chicken-Mash Hour". They'll pay $200 and he can return to Bent Fork and the $175 left over will cover some of Lucy and Ricky's "poverty". On the show, the group sings, "Y'all come", which includes the agreeable Ricky who knows Ernie will now have money to go home.
Songs: "Wabash Cannon Ball", "Y'all Come"
Cast: Tennessee Ernie Ford as Ernest Ford; Dick Reeves as Lester Byke
THE GOLF GAME
Episode# 96, Aired May 17, 1954
When the men practice their golf all evening for their first tournament this week, and at the same time forget to take the girls to the movies as planned, Lucy decides to fight hobby with hobby so that theirs will now drive the men crazy too. She and Ethel choose basketball, but the plan fails when Ricky is glad they have a hobby too. Lucy decides they should take up golf, so they can see the husbands once in awhile. Ricky and Fred are not happy with this at all, so they decide that if they teach the girls with complicated, made up rules, they'll quit learning. They make up such rules as: a "mashy" which is where you mash the golf ball into the ground; asking "May I?" before playing; using leap frog; a "birdie" being the flapping of your arms while whistling before hitting the golf ball. The "winner", who is usually Lucy, gets to carry all the golf bags. The girls continue on alone when Fred hits his ball into the woods, and Jimmy Demaret, a three time winner of the Masters in Augusta, Georgia, who's been playing alone, comes along. Lucy asks him to join them, but she and Ethel's methods of playing cause him to ask if they're sure they're playing golf. They realize their husbands have played a dirty trick on them and ask Jimmy to help them get even in the tournament the next day. In the tournament, Ricky and Fred are announced as a threesome with Demaret but their caddies, who got "sick", are replaced with Lucy and Ethel. Using the made up rules, the girls interact with the men, and Demaret too, on how to play golf the way they learned, embarrassing Ricky until Jimmy plays by Lucy's rules also. The husbands then realize they've been tricked by their wives.
Cast: Jimmy Demaret as himself; George Pirrone as the caddy; Louis Nicoletti as Tournament Chairman
Episode #97, Aired May 24, 1954
Ricky's band has been booked into Maine for two months and he's taking Lucy and the baby. They've lived in the Mertz building for 12 years and this is the first time the Mertzes and Ricardos will be separated. Ricky tells Fred he might sublet the apartment because he doesn't want to pay $125/month rent when he won't be in the apartment. He says Mrs. Hammond, a real estate agent, can get him $300/month. Fred is upset that Ricky would be making money on his apartment and reminds him he can sublet only with the approval of the lessor, which is Fred. The Mertzes don't approve of any interested couples that come to sublet, except for themselves. Mrs. Hammond believes the Mertzes will sublet the Ricardo apartment and sub-sublet it to someone else. However, she knows she can get someone to rent it for $300 and convinces the Mertzes and Ricardos to split the profit between them and they agree to this. As Lucy finishes packing for her trip, Ethel drops in, and so does Mrs. Hammond. She has rented the apartment to Mr. Beecher, a shy man who was a witness on a murder trial whose nerves are shot. He wants a quiet place where no one will find him. He comes to look around and he and Lucy sign the lease. Lucy says he can move in right away and takes her suitcases to Ethel's as he goes to get his things. A bit later, Lucy is dressed up for her trip and visits Ethel again to show her his $600 check for 2 months' rent, which is $175 profit for each couple, less Mrs. Hammond's commission. Ricky stops in to tell the girls the job in Maine fell through and now they're not going. Lucy laments that they rented their apartment already, and upon telling Mr. Beecher of their predicament, he still won't leave. Ethel suggests that the Ricardos move in with them until they find an apartment. Despite desperate efforts, Lucy can't find an apartment even though a week has passed. The Mertz home is now crowded with 5 people living in it, including a crying baby who spills food on the rug. Ethel gets so tired of doing dishes since everyone eats at different times. She has one skillet in the kitchen that hasn't been cold for a week. Lucy and Ethel decide to enact another murder for Mr. Beecher to witness so he'll move out. After Lucy's fake death scene, he flees the apartment. Next, Fred informs the girls he has found the Ricardos an apartment and paid two months rent in advance. Ricky comes in and says they don't even need one apartment since his agent got him another job and they'll spend the next two months in Delmar, California.
Cast: Jay Novello as Mr. Beecher; Virginia Brissac as Mrs. Hammond; Joseph (and Michael) Mayer as Little Ricky